'Tie me up, ' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So he tied her up and went golfing.A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter, ' she said. 'Just get out.'Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhoea in the convent.' 'Thank God, ' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of. Book cases lined two walls. He drifted over and ran his eyes over the titles. Quite an eclectic collection he noted. Everything from vintage children's books to best sellers. He smiled as he noted a well stocked section on Ireland and the Irish. When William entered the room Duncan had pulled one of those books from the case and was flipping through it."Entertaining," Duncan remarked. "But really not that accurate historically." That's what Deirdre says," smiled the other man."I see a great deal of material on Ireland. There's history and folktales and even fiction." Some it is hers. A lot of it is mine though. I try to understand things about her and her heritage is a major part of her. As for the fiction, she says, and I agree, that often you can find out more about people by reading what they dream about rather than just cold facts and dates."Duncan nodded his agreement."And I'm of Irish ancestry myself. A little anyway. Of course most Americans tend to have a bit of Irish in.
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